Song in my mind ~ Walking on a thin line - Huey Lewis

Sometimes in my bed at night I curse the dark and a pray for light
And sometimes, the light's no consolation
Blinded by a memory
Afraid of what it might do to me
And the tears and the sweat only mock my desperation

I heard this song last week... and I remember liking it. The first verse sounds like it could be a relationship song, however after actually seeing the lyrics and well.. I know its a song about a war vet having a hard time with adjusting back to "main street"....

But I guess Angst is Angst.... Which actually I would like to report things are going mostly well.

I ran into my greatest fan of Elmira the other weekend. She was the little old lady that I had to help out at work because one of my employee's didn't do what they were suppose to, and well she contacted the paper in Elmira and we got about a half page story about it. I didn't recognize her at first, and she didn't recognize me either... but when she told me the I had a good student... I recognized the accent and well... It made me feel really good that I ran into her again. She asked me about the cats and I explained that Deoge was gone, and I got Elphy and still Ceeto is Ceeto... Told her about getting Jacob as well.. she was all excited. She then asked me what I did with the cats if I had any long trips, and I explained what I did, however I'm still looking for a house/cat sitter for February... well she offered to watch the cats... I'm thinking about it, but with her two cats, and mine, not sure if everyone would like that arrangement.... esp hers... but we will see... I'm thinking on visiting her place with the cats for a dry run on how everyone gets along. But I was kinda down before seeing her, and well after that I was more content with my existence.

I saw Kapers, mostly it was... well Kapers, but overall I was impressed... I sat with my old stalker chick from kapers, who is still on crack... but I had fun, and ran into a old friend that we sorta lost touch with. We decided to go to Perkins due to no Kaper Party's to crash, and well we all had some really good laughs that evening. Which Sara needed because she has been having a rough time with her dad being really sick. I saw Rhonda Gray and she's still amazing, and I have decided if I ever do Next to Normal I want her to be the "Mom".

I also got a facebook add from my old gf Wenona. That was neat catching up with her. Overall she's doing good. We are gonna try to get together soon.

And lastly I got a facebook add from Norm, father of Jason, ex of Lou, and well... one of my best karaoke fans of Warren. Threw him he want's to give a good word in to a cute 30yo singer from Warren, and I'm hoping to get back in touch with his Granddaughter Ariel, who was my sis in Meet me in St. Louie... All this is great just before the holidays, it makes me feel its not just me against the world, that my old friends are coming back around. Makes it feel less alone.

Work has been busy, could be busier, however as usual for this updates I'm on call and its been a really good weekend. The boss took me out for dinner last night to all places, HOOTERS.. and WTF.... I caught myself looking at the ta-tas and butts... damn those uniforms are something... however unfort... I still caught myself looking at a couple of the cooks... so nope.. still liking the boys.. haha... but wow... for a brief moment... almost bi... haha

Jacob and I had a good ride in two Sundays ago. With being by ourselves it was better then I expected, but just when I got my hopes up, he decided it was time to go back to the barn. He has a small crack on his hoof so I'm a little worried that will get worse. And little gurl (Elphaba) decided to have a small peeing problem, so that means the vet got 90 bucks of my Christmas shopping money. I still kinda hate the holidays coming up, just because I don't have anyone. However, I am doing pretty good avoiding possible drama in things that prob wouldn't turn into a good relationship. Just wonder why I only get that type of "difficult" situations where I don't know what to do. Just this time its hard to figure out whats happening, so I just have decided to keep a further distance so no misunderstandings can happen. I don't know why my gut is yelling at me to do this... because like in the past, I wouldn't care and rush right into drama.... eluding myself that drama wouldn't happen. Granted if everyone is telling the truth, there would be no drama.... However if that wasn't the case it could make my personal life and work life very difficult. So bottom line I guess I'm maturing, and not taking any risks anymore. Plus my new motto is that if someone that I think is cute, in my "desired" age range, and shows interest back to me.. is a big warning sign!! Just because, and I guess means I have a really good chance of staying single for a long long time. But at least there is no drama.

Guess thats all. Just need to finish up some Christmas shopping. Mom being the hardest as usual, a friend at work wants me to be tour guide in NYC next Saturday, so I'm hoping I get the trip so its a win win situation. But low on money till payday because of the vet. I really would like to get tickets for N2N and Hair for mom and before I leave for the Olympics. We shall see.

Best,
J