Song in my mind ~ Peace Love and Understanding - Elvis Costello

Well.... I'm not in the best moods.... I have been working my ass off at work, and until recently... (well you know my latest bitch has been I'm never in the office) and a few other things that are not at par... but I have to explain why this is happening... well... its obvious.

On the other hand I know my fellow coworkers care... however... I don't see the "concern"... hell if they only knew me in 2004

Today I had to make a unexpected trip to Olean for work, for a mistake that needed to be corrected... I didnt stop at all in bradford... so thats a good thing... I was thinking of driving by the troll's place... but didn't... however I on the way home came across a very horrible motorcycle verses car accident. I helped the fire dept because its my dept's neighboring dept... however... it was a accident I would have rather not had to work. it was intense. I pray that the one person survives... I'll leave it at that.

Well I'm on call... surprised? I know I said I was going to Toronto for pride... however... other things happened... Atlanta $425 ..... Alternator for $700... yeah.. ask me and I'll tell you where NOT to go.... haha... The boat is at shop #2... however... even though it might cost me 2000 to get it fixed.... just the hotties that were there when I dropped it off made it worth it... haha..

Not sure how quick I'll get half of what is needed to start it. The $700 alternator cut into what I was saving for.... haha.. But the best thing was all that was in cash. With the truck paid off, and as long as it doesn't need anything more thats going to cost 7x's over the average... it should be ok...

Yeah I might be a little down, as I said, its basically just the job that keeps me waking up. I would love to be with someone... (well there are people that want me, but nothing I see as what I would want) so it sucks.. but I'll be ok... I always am.... I did go out to Chumleys for dinner.... they have a great BBQ happy hour meal, and there was this totally perfect guy there... and he was with someone that was hot but didn't do a thing for me.... But the perfect one well... I would have never thought he was on "the team"... oh well..... that wraps up my pride activities. I don't plan on anything tommorrow night... however sunday is kinda slow so I could I guess. But I don't have any desire for it. Until I figure out how to lose the massive weight I put on I don't blame anyone for not looking. Its the big 35 next year... oh well.. But I'm at the point... after 30 it doesn't matter anymore. I'm in gay death.... haha... what the f can you do.

I'm now focusing on August.... seeing if I can make Abay and NYC in the same 6 days.... don't know with the boat... and plus its now slow at work so the checks with 60 to 90 hours are on hold till fall... we shall see....

And starting next week I have a new karaoke gig.... Its at Club Mojo's in Clearfield 9-1 on wednesdays... I explained to the guy, who seemed very nice and enjoyed me being honest... When it gets busy back at work, if I can't find someone to run it, I might not be available... however we are giving it a shot... and I don't have to lug the whole system... so that's nice... but we will see if it works out... My full time responsiblities at the job come first.... its not like it was in 2001 when i started. So.... we shall see what direction this takes things.

I know this blog is a real downer... and again I don't give a shit if the ex's read it. I wouldn't what you or your crap in my life again... and what you are doing is nothing I want either. The problems are just with gays in general. and me. I know there are super nice guys.. that arent in my type range.... but I'm not settling anymore. Type range guys that are asses.... are worse then being alone. And I'm not forcing myself to be with the ones that could be hurt by me when it might not work out, just because I know how I am... least when it comes to seeing guys like mr. perfect tonight. I have no right to hurt someone... so i stay alone. I think that way karma is ok.....

and again I was checking the stats on the blog and the website... you lurkers... you should be ashamed of yourselves.... oh well... no comments...

on that note... I'm going to sleep before hell breaks loose.

night
j

Song in my Mind ~ Aggravation - Rod Stewart

Well... its been ten days since I've seen my office, and I'm in State doing on call stuff.. but I'm not on call....

This week has been shitty.... however I did have the nicest group from Montana.... They were the best... It was a school group and the kids were just the nicest... and the adults were just as pleasant.

But my co driver about wore my last nerve... and I was already stressed about not being in the office... and being gone to DC and NYC for five days didn't help. I was tired and I also had a minor accident... I killed some old guy's mirror on his 2007 car... However I do believe he wasn't in his lane.... still it was my fault... and it was because I was just well..... just at my limit...

All I do is work... and that is my life other then the cats... and I'm starting to wonder why..... oh well... I wish it would end... however I know it won't and I'll get threw.

I do have a new fantasy... however... that will only be posted in a private blog.... sorry guys... but just thinking two would be better then one.... haha

I'm off for a quick trip to North Carolina tomorrow.... grrr.....

other then that ... so far I might be in the office for 2 days this week... and the fire dept has the carnival and I guess I have to do Karaoke.... I'm gonna die.... well at least I wish I would.....

Song in My Mind ~ Mame - Mame!

Greetings from Atlanta..... and this is not work related.... haha... that means I think I have a total of four days off...... wow....

The flight down wasnt bad.... however.... I thought the pilot came in FAST..... but thats just my opinion. I was able to find a good Japense Steakhouse and sushi... haha... gotta have priorities. And last night me and my friend went to "Stage Door" for karaoke night.... gotten love the homo's doing karaoke... however.... it was mostly lesbos.... only one semi hot guy for me... oh well.... slept and today I went into the city and ate lunch at the sundial... which is a rotating dinning place 72 stories up. It was very nice.... alot of twink hotties.... hehe...

After lunch I went to Olympic Park.... it was nice.... and I was able to view where the bombing happened in 1996. Kinda errie.... and then I went and found the gayborhood up in Piedmont area... Its rather beautiful up there...

Tonght is dinner at some chatue... however thats spelled wine tasteing and all..... And I have a lowdown on another homo karaoke place in the gayborhood.

Not sure about Sunday yet.... oh well... till next time.

j