Song in my mind ~ Misunderstanding-Genesis

Well it seems my attempt to promote LB to Sunshine again, has failed. Like I said he never called thurs, but told me he would call friday to hang out sunday nite. Well... again... nothing.

I don't understand it. He's a good talker... when I talk to him I think all it ok. But guess fairy tales never happen for faggots. Least for me.

I don't see him contacting me for thursday like he "promised".

Getting drunk seems to be the fun he chooses from the rumors I hear.

And one of the things he swore to on thurs, came to be false on Saturday. But the female that was with the troll. I doubt she tells the truth to anyone. So I don't know... I need to move on.. all I know. Which is tough.

I told Chris on Saturday about LB. For up to Monday my feelings for LB where dead, so it didn't matter. But when I couldn't take enjoyment from his breakup... I don't know.. But I was honest with Chris.... Like I'm always am.... I just can't lead anyone one. Cause I know how it hurts.

Chris seemed alittle hurt, however, some have been trying to fix him up with the LB. But we hung out at Stew's house last night with Vanessa. Great food. good company. And he keeps in contact.. He's a little nervous, I'm not as positive as I should be.

I have a doctor's appt on Wednesday. That I have been putting off for a while. Im a little scared.

j