Song in my Mind ~Too Less Lonely People in the World - Air Supply
So October 2015 to October 2023......
And since I'm 50 now I'm making the text more bigger. lol
So, whats reason for being MIA for 8 years? Mostly Book of Face was a one stop bitch area for me... lol...
Well last bitch on here was not able to do God of Carnage, still haven't done it at the theatre, however I did get the staring role of Fredrick Fronkenstein (2016) at Cast in Clearfield, lead in Producers at the Reitz in DuBois (2017). But during that I lost Ceeto due to Kidney disease, that for a year I administered subcutaneous fluids to him for over a year.
After Ceeto passed I went to Bradford SPCA and found the cutest Russian Blue (but not officially) kitten, and I named him Jaden, which was gonna be my first son's name.. Jaden Richard Valentine, however I gave up on that and gave him that name... So Crazy Cat Lady Level 4 maintained. That March the SPCA told me they had a Siamese kitten, which made me go Crazy Cat Lady Level 5. At the same time I was approved to direct and performed the role of Dan in next to normal, so I named the kitten Gabriel, which I did kinda thought was a bad idea as, to what happens to Gabe in n2n. Not sure if I said I was talking to the sperm donor last post, but during camping of 2018 he was such a Trumper, he had a Orange nose, and we haven't talked since, and the same weekend I had to put Jaden asleep (at 8 months, just like Gabe in n2n) because he had a secondary infection from having a spell of Covid when he was a kitten, what ever the hell that was in 2018, supposedly it was something that is common in feral colonies that they get over no problem, but 1 in 100 develop a secondary illness that is call Feline infectious peritonitis that causes fluid to develop around a organ and kills it. Yep, and we get to meet covid again in 2 years... But after losing Jaden I stayed at Crazy Cat Lady level 4.
So Feb of 2019, we pulled off a production of n2n, which I was very proud of. So proud that we thought it would be a good idea to reprise it in August of 2019 at Cooks Forest Sam Mill Theatre, which wasn't the best idea in the world but still glad we did it. To that I ended up buying a camping trailer, I didn't see that coming, however, at 16 feet but being a hybrid where you just don't drive a mattress around actually I use it a lot especially three. I get to tell the story that I bought a camping trailer because of musical theatre... only me! But having that camper has ended up with me spending around three weeks in Alexandria Bay! 1000 islands! a year! Win win chicken din din!
December of 2019 flew out to AZ to visit fam... because of a time share presentation but didn't buy one. That was the last time I was frisky with a fellow human... so had a long dry spell. Which is understandable as I am now very fat and old. But overall I am/was very much ok with. I just would window shop. A few distant maybes but overall nothing.
Then lets see... March of 2020. March 2, I was injured at work as we had a nutcase start assaulting two fellow employees. Ripped cartilage in my left knee and some bruising in the face. I tackled the guy and restrained his one arm by using my teeth and pulling out his hair which wasn't good for his dreads. But I still did my annual Singing Lions tour, the leg super swollen and sore, to which the trip was cut short, on my birthday of all days, same day I lost my wallet, and well the day the world ended for 6 months. Covid-19.
I only had it once, and I only had a headache for one day. I'm a believer in the vaccine. But everything thing changed at work. I started getting weekends off, started driving more school bus than coach.... which I'm actually liking... The girls (Elphaba, Tootsie & Isabella) are getting a bit too old to spend winter days in the cat house. They liked Jaden, not much of a fan of the Serial Toy drowner and leaves in the water, hey I'm gonna be nice and lick you three times and bite you so hard I have a tuff of fur in my mouth. Poor Isabella, I have white puffs of hair around the house far too much, and well momma and Toots don't trust him at all.
The Orange one couldn't have fucked anything else up, if he tried harder, well since fucking everything up is what he is good at second to enabling bigots. But that allowed more camping with the camper... I guess that was my mid life crisis purchase. But when I'm at ABAY I'm right on the river... So... as those mid life things go... I'm ok with that.
In 2021 I finally saw a medium, at first she was sensing a female attached to a beach... could be two... But of course I was hoping Jamie would make a appearance. (well you know...) The gal was off, as the item I brought was more of someone else and not Jamie, and she asked me to bring a picture in a envelope... however before she even talked about Jamie she requested to see it. So I'm thinking yep this was fake. After she saw his picture she said he was here, and that he was mad. Jeez I got sick. But he wasn't mad at me. She exclaimed he was murdered and that was what he was mad at. Which I concluded a long time ago he was. But no one even his family sees it that way. The fucking bitch that was driving the car swerved into a on coming truck and stopped. The black box of the car proved that with a less than 5 mph at time of impact. But no one ever pushed it, in fact she got off the DUI with no jail time. The medium asked me to burn a white candle on his birthday with was soon and tell at least someone that he was murdered. I didn't have to tell the people. But just someone. I did, and now I'm putting it all out here. Only thing I will promise, if I ever get into a bad time that I would consider suicide, since I would be going to hell anyways, I take care of her first. She had a family, seems happy. But, she killed once of the most amazing person I have ever met. However spoilers, One, Jamie wouldn't want that I'm pretty sure, and there is one other reason now. Cause as I said, money and job are stressing me out, but now I realized that out of a few, there is one reason I couldn't do it.
So in 2021 I became a board member at the theatre, and I was selected to direct The Last 5 Years..... Which the production I couldn't see better talent and couldn't, the talent was first rate, however another set of cast members couldn't control urges... which pissed me off... Got accused by the chick that I was in love with the guy actor... No not love, lust sure, he was legal, and what he wore.... is all I'm gonna say... I had lots of respect for him... but more I think he was just a good actor, but maybe not the person he is good at acting as. She had talent.... But she broke up with a sweet guy to wreck his relationship and they dated till he left her.... lol...
2023 I had a small part at the Reitz in Spam-a-lot, and was Vince in Grease at the sawmill... Amazing year of Camping almost 3 full weeks in ABay!
For 2024 I'm directing You're a Good Man Charlie Brown at the Reitz, I have good hopes for a few that I think are auditioning. And in summer I might be pulling off my best impression of Paul Lynde. lol... Which that includes camping as its a bit far away. Same reason I bought it.
I'm growing tired of the job. Bunch of things that I view are slights, almost got hired in Vermont at my dream company (not dream job) but it was a start. But too expensive to live on my own there.
I'm so much greyer, more tired, and well... sore and tired too!
So updates on some of the boys along the way.
BHOH, him and his whatever moved to Tucson AZ. Glad I never moved like I thought could have happened. TJ actually started chatting before and after moving out there, which was ok. But I think he unfriended me for some of the "if my ex gets hit by a bus and other memes...."
Sunshine or Little Bastard... for the longest time would only contact me when he needed money. He was in jail from like 2015 to 2017. There was some mail exchanged during that time. Boredom would do that I guess. Last time I saw him was August 21st 2017. He was settling down in Erie after release. We got something to eat, I watched the solar eclipse for like two hours after he settle with the PO and some job interview. He unfriended me around the same time TJ did... but before that I watched him stoned out of his mind on a facebook live that he insisted there was a "thing" in his legs from his new apartment, and kept saying he was gonna cut it out with a knife. And any other time he would message was only for money, but since the last time in 2015, it was really easy to say no. I finally realized I had to. Last month he "died" in his residence. Its too bad, he lost everything that made him "sunshine", but I felt nothing when I heard he died. Took me a few days, but then I realized I mourned him a long time back.
Dale, the Savage's ex, died of a overdose, Savage talked up a good game while he was in jail, maybe got $20 for help with postage but I wasn't giving money to the fucker that stole alot of sentimental things. But when he got out he hooked up with somone with Dale's last name. I'm not the best looking but that man is FUGLY!!! lol... Anyway I think he caused Deoge to get sick and Ceeto hated him.. He wasn't coming back into my life.
Tony, for all that he liked a older guy, he had a felony love of underage girls. He was in jail for a long time. He's in a halfway "prayer" house, with a bunch of other Chester's. I only found that out with a county check of Megan's Law. I never reached out as I would have only been a ass. We never said I love you, or not that I can remember. He was a freak in the sheets, but just a waste of human.
Shawn is somewhere in NJ, he never reached out. I think he thinks he prayed the gay away, but however brief that lasted, but I was smitten with his looks and about to be 40... got desperate. But he helped me to stop looking for anything relationship wise. Worked, kept me out of trouble for about ten years! lol...
Elphaba "Mommy" is 15 this year. Beginning of September she developed a mass on the bridge of her nose. Vets say they don't know, a needle biopsy says there are some "suspicious cells meaning cancer and inflammation cells. But the way its growing, doesn't really matter, if it continues to grow like it is, she'll be seeing Ceeto and Jaden soon. I think she still looks for Ceeto upstairs, she does this cry sound. Hell have you seen this video.. Kicks you in the gut.. but kinda hope this is how death and everlasting life works...
So why after 8 years am I updating this...? Yes I'm on call... lol but that's not it.
This year in August while camping at Abay, I got a notice from Tinder. There was this cute picture of a army guy... and I said, oh Fabulous a scammer from Russia or India. I've gotten good at spotting them out. Never been taken... but its common of them to use a fake cute army guy photo to catfish or scam with. Well, Richard passed all the anti-scammer tests. He is real, (pretty sure)... Private First Class at Ft. Drum. Another great reason I'm glad I bought the camper as I was camping. @ 26 he is half my age. But for some reason, he thinks I'm not bad looking and thinks I have a personality, (I asked when his last eye test was) he said dude I shoot a gun very well. lol... He hasn't hit me up for money. So just when I wasn't looking for anything, he comes out of nowhere. I never met anyone like him. He is genuine, caring, very scared of this new relationship, does a lot of things I remember me doing when I was his age. Stuff now in hind sight might have helped with me being single, as I was doing that stuff being mostly the older person in the relationship. But since I know where this is coming from, I see it as him being at 26, and well.. thats how its suppose to be...
We are both Pisces which is interesting. But when he does something that isn't exactly the best thing to do. I offer feedback... And I do things that makes him offer feedback too. I don't have anything I see needs to be fixed "like all the jailbirds"... or prove that I can be trust worthy... He just wants to be apart of my life, and I feel exactly same way. We don't see more than a weekend a month, which we only have been dating for two months.... But hell, thats 2 years in Gay years... and well with the Valentine factor... 5 years?? lol...
But even though we are in a long distance relationship, I never get paranoid, about his feelings or actions. I guess I learned that living in the moment is the way to do it, that if I have worry about if he is meeting someone that he might prefer over me. If he starts looking I already lost the fight. And me becoming a relationship nazi or head case won't save anything. I guess sometimes to fight for a relationship is not gonna solve a thing, as fighting never worked in the past. But it could be that he hasn't given me any reason to worry. There has not been a day we haven't at least texted, and most days we video chat.... We got a year and half of dating before he gets discharged. So we will be either ready to settle or maybe not... But even though he says we went fast on somethings... overall we are on a good road to... make it?
Heck, we been doing this silly facebook game that we guess the other answers, which made him ask if I kept a journal.. I said I had a blog at one time. He wanted to read it... I rather he not, as hell I don't remember half the shit in this thing. But my "love" has since, read everything and then told me I was such strong person from all that I went through. Even though I told him a lot of the past as he asked questions, I guess reading it from that point in time helped him get to know me more.
But I know he read the WHOLE blog in a couple of days... and I can't only view a few days worth without saying WTH Valentine... lol Curious if and when he'll come back to find this "update".... But know that his companionship has been an amazing unexpected surprise. I love him, I love how he is, I love how he looks at me... however I'm not sure what he sees... lol...
So if this is the last update of this thing... so be it. I'm actually glad that I don't need a forum to bitch about things that I'm dating! Only God knows how long this will last. And I'm ok with that. I'll deal with the day to day bumps, if there are any. Not making mountains out of mole hill bumps, over insecurity of the future... Or turning those bumps into clubs to repeatedly relive the past that doesn't matter. Yeah there has been a few misunderstandings.. but no clubs yet. For once I'm present.... in the present... at least with my Boo... Work and money well that's another thing.... I keep telling him to get promoted to Major General.... lol... But maybe the part that wasn't there for decades, might help me better the others.. Ok rambling now... But for now....
There are two less lonely people in the world.... Love you Richard!