Song in my Mind - There's a fine, fine line.... AveQ

Hey guys.... A lot going on.... Some not the best... Some just amazing.

Well.... Sunshine txt'd me with some "bad news" on Mother's day. But I think I need to clarify some crap... if I can.

Sunshine = person I was talking about when I first started this. Sometimes referred to as the "LB". Young Twink that should not be interested in me. But has told others that he "liked" me. But sometimes his contact level.... Drives me nuts. Sometimes I wonder if we are friends let alone maybe couple material later down the road. Was? or and is seeing the "kid". Sunshine is completely legal seeing the kid. Age difference is "normal" Sunshine has mostly demonstrated fairly mature motives.

The Troll = psychopathic EX of me. Got in trouble legally for being inappropriate with sunshine in 2003. Pretty much stalked him since then. Main reason we broke up. However if I had a freakin clue in 2003, it would have never lasted a year and half. Liar, crook, scum bag, sick minded, evil, devil spawn and looks like a troll. If I only had a clue... oh well... Some people just need to learn the hard way. Vomit has better qualities. Not to mention, it seems not many people liked him, but just gave him a chance just because I was with him. Now they just bitch slap me for being dumb back then, and will not allow me to even come remotely close to being that stupid again.

Kid = Someone that I was appreciative of. Sunshine needed to date someone more his age. Like I said, I don't understand why sunshine likes (liked) me. But I was VERY supportive of the relationship between him and the kid. I want Sunshine to be happy at the very most. If it would have been me at a appropriate time by his choosing, I would be open to it, just because I know I would protect and never harm him. But how many Twinks do you know that want that. Well the "kid" has screwed up royally, and frankly, he never seemed to be on Sunshine's page of maturity. And ended up hurting sunshine.

Ok I'm already lost. I feel bad if anyone reads this.

But the txt message on mom's day stated that the Kid cheated on Sunshine with the Troll. (which is TOTALLY SICK AND VERY VERY VERY VERY FELONIOUS) It was very early in the morning so making it seem urgent. But Sunshine hadn't contacted me for near 3 months. Which I hoped was mostly because he was happy with the kid. However there was evidence that the Troll was still being a foul person. (Mind you the troll has been seeing a rather questionable 26 yo throughout the last year... And the troll as been more criminal this last year then when he was with me.) So there is actually someone stupider then me. IF Can you believe that.

Well again Sunshine has been mostly quiet, so I don't understand what exactly what he wants from me. But like in the past. I'm very content to stay on the back burner. I will not interfere. Sunshine needs to use his own head.

The troll..... State prison would be too good for him. But again. He doesn't affect me anymore. And he will get his eventually.

Sunshine. Again... I'm just looking for honesty, and friendship if you need/want it. More if a "right" time ever comes around. But Friendship is the priority.

The Kid... What the hell... Why would you risk losing the Sunshine for a OLD Troll. But again.... Some people just need to learn by the hardest freaken way possible. I feel bad for you. Most people lose too much when they come in contact with the troll. Me and Sunshine know first hand.

But then again. I know I don't know the complete story. And mostly if I could be a cold hearted person (like I wish I could be) I could completely walk away and not give another thought to it. Cause I know it really doesn't affect me. Oh well.

I know most people don't understand. My rule is not to date anyone under 21. But I thought maybe a long friendship, might override the rule this one time. And the friendship is going on 6 years. And talking when Sunshine needs it and here hasn't been a problem yet.

When I say friends. I mean and demand the conversations to stay G rated. I thought boring would be the best way to be. Least for my part.

Now on to better news.

WOW, still can't believe it! As most know, my birthday sucked in NYC. So bad that I ended up having a COURT DAY in NYC, on 5/17. Well I was dead set to make sure I made up for the sucky Bday... and oh boy did I !!!!

To Start it off. Got to the city, had GREAT sushi, subway to lower Manhattan, WON the Court thing, hung out at Battery Park,

Subway back to up town. Good Thai Dinner. I was invited to tour the Sirius Satellite Radio Studio of Derek and Romaine of Channel 149 fame!!! Was able to participate LIVE in their show. (Broadcasted by Satellite all across the nation I might add!) They are wonderful people FOLKS!!!!

Then went to the 8pm show of AveQ... which was EXECELENT!!!! Met the cast after the show and during that ALSO met, Elijah Wood that just got done watching the same show!!!!! The lead of the show is Barrett Foa who is a friend of Bradford's own Eric Petterson!!!!

My Gawd.... Barrett is so MAJORLY talented. and HOTT!!! and being 27, much better, normal age over the mess above. But I'm sure he's taken. Thinks I'm a stalker by how I acted last night... And would know to avoid my fat ass like the plague.

With a attitude like that.... No wonder the shit in the first part can effect me.

Well... I'm tired... Only had 2 hours sleep in the last 30 hours.

bye me.